Monday, October 24, 2011

What Do You Do to Show the Parents You Really Love Their Kids?

How You Can Tell If Your Nanny is Into Your Kids
By Candi Wingate, Nannies4hire.com

Nannies should have a loving bond with the kids in their care: they should really care for your kids. It’s so not ok if your kids are bleeding profusely and your nanny can barely tear herself away from “The Bold and the Beautiful.” This is not about your carpet not being Scotch Garded recently: this is about your kids feeling loved, attended to, and (for Heaven’s sake) safe.

How can you tell if your nanny is into your kids?

1. Your kids aren’t experiencing rapid weight loss while under her care. (If nanny is seldom remembering to feed your kids, well, she’s probably not that into them).
2. Your kids don’t cling to you when you get home. Kids whose need for love and affection is being met throughout the day don’t have an O-M-G-I-need-a-cuddle response when you walk through the door each day.
3. Your kids smile and laugh easily. (If your kids begin to take on the demeanor of an undertaker, there may be a problem).
4. Your nanny smiles and laughs easily and praises your kids often to you, directly to your kids, and to third parties as well. If you come home to kids who think they’re rock stars, nanny make be fluffing up their egos during the day.
5. Your kids assume that they can get help when they need it. If they have an established paradigm of helpful caregiving, then the nanny cares for them. If, on the otherhand, they think they are on their own, and you see your three-year-old winging it through, say, tricycle repair (with screwdriver and pliers in hand), that may be a sign that nanny isn’t into your kids.
6. Your kids maintain a reasonable schedule while in the care of nanny. A nice mix of play time, homework time, various lessons and/or sports, time to attend to home things (i.e., chores, etc.), and some quiet time should be in the mix. On the other hand, if nanny shuttles your kids from activity to activity (all of which require her to be less interactive with them) such that President Obama would be daunted by the timetable, that is probably not ok.
7. Your kids feel comfortable self-determining on age-appropriate matters. (If the nanny makes all the decisions for your kids, especially without considering their opinions on the subjects at hand, then the nanny is probably not that into your kids).
8. Your nanny knows where your kids are when you come home from work. (If, on the other hand, you walk through the door, ask nanny where the kids are, and her response is, “Who are you asking about?” well, that’s not a good sign).
9. Your nanny happily flexes in what she does for your kids. For example, if one of your kids needs to change the time of drop off or pick up at a specific event, does your nanny willingly agree to the new time or does she tell you that your kids need to learn to hitchhike?
10. Your nanny shows up for work regularly and cheerfully. Frequent absences, especially for suspicions reasons, may be a sign that nanny is not into your kids. For example, if nanny calls in absent one day, saying that she can’t make it to work because of the ice storm, and you live in Bermuda, consider that a heads-up that things are not going well.

Not every nanny can mesh with every child. If you have a nanny that acts like she’s not into your kids, it’s best to talk with her about what you’re seeing and how that’s different from what you’d like. Maybe the nanny is coming across differently than she intends. If she really is not into your kids, then it’s time to move on. Both your family and she can find better matches out there somewhere.

Please consider Nannies4hire.com is the perfect resource to help you find your new nanny, the one who is a perfect fit for your family.

7 comments:

Michelle said...

There is a whole clique of nannies in my area that think it's great that they watch soap operas together, spend time on cell phone and don't interact with the kids more than they have to. Do they love the kids? They say they do. But I'm the only one reading books to them, helping them with homework, baking with them, taking them to the playground.

Some of the local nannies take the kids to the playground but unprepared with no water, band aids, or sunscreen or snack. My biggest pet peeve are nannies that don't wipe noses, don't have the kids wash their hands before and after eating, allow them to be dirty all day.

I am not perfect. I've yelled and scolded. But I truly spend my work day nurturing the kids. I love being at work for them. Watching tv benefits no one. I want to see joy in their eyes and happiness most of all.

AuPairDebbie said...

None of us is perfect but I really work hard to not criticize and raise my voice. The youngest always greets me with a smile and a hug (no crying when mom and dad leave)! Very few injuries on my time. I'm 100% working for the kids when at work.

Imani said...

The kids are thriving

Steph 6 said...

Young kids have separation anxiety and that's normal so just becasue a child cries when Mommy or Daddy leaves doesn't necessarily mean the nanny isn't great. Some parents expect the nanny to do housekeeping. In those situations the nanny isn't
taking care of the kids 100% because you are asking her to vacume or other duties.

Fiona Littleton said...

The parents can see it in the way the kids are around me. There aren't other nannies or parents complaining about me to them. The kids are happy. They are doing well in their activities and school. I love my job.

But, when I've been late to another job it was because I hated the parents. I still loved the job and the kids. I haven't met a kid I didn't love. If the nanny isn't seeming happy it may be due to constant criticism by a parent or low pay or lack of respect or all of those reason.

Diane said...

I don’t just like what I do, I LOVE what I do. Not many people can say that and it shows in the energy I project and in the happiness, cleanliness, growth, self esteem, even health of the kids in my care!

Anonymous said...

Honestly if I'm not smiling it's not due to my care or lack of care for the kids. If there isn't a smile its about the job and communicating with the parents.